I’m reminded that it’s nearly been a year since going freelance. It's a career choice that feels like taking a leap of faith off of a cliff that you can't see the bottom of. Some of us, including me, took the jump after realising the solid ground we’d grown used to was burning out like a cigarette in some smoking area at 11pm. Stay on said cigarette, and you’ll get burned with it.
In that first part of the fall, you’re begging for just a tab of the cigarette to cling on to for just a bit longer. Just a few more regular pay checks.
When you’ve been reliant on full time positions, you never feel that it’s the right time to quit, but it gets easier once you tell yourself that the next few months are going to be uncomfortable and pretty tedious. You'll also have to figure out a way to keep your hands busy.
Perhaps the smoking analogy is unfair, as I can’t compare many full time positions to a habit as destructive as smoking, but my last one was. I’d spent enough time at hospital appointments seeing to a stress-induced illness to give it a fair comparison. The illness made itself scarce after I’d decided to go cold turkey. We both gave in our notices and wished each other the worst.
Back to the falling part, when you land from that cliff you’d jumped from, you’ll probably find yourself in a desert, depending on your luck. I’ve heard of handful who’ve landed in palace gardens full of fruit trees. They’ve picked out the best place to launch from, I keep telling myself with hindsight, that I’d know where to launch from now. But mistakes happen, you'll just have to take a few detours and join them later.
If you land don’t find water, then you'd better start moving before vultures start keeping tabs on you. Some parts of your wandering take you through a few dried out riverbeds, some to a small oasis, and some to a mirage of a pool that could burn you under the sun trying to get to it. The better-prepared will have learned to tap for water. That won’t be making the desert bloom, but does make lemonade out of a few parched lemons. Better than supping on morning dew anyway.
The freelancer who makes it out finds a few shallow pools of water at first, a booking here and there for a few days, and starts figuring out where the pools turn into streams, and then the streams into rivers where the water always flows. That first leap might have felt dangerous and stupid, and that wandering can feel like it might never end. You might find yourself questioning if you've even got the skills to navigate a desert that looks empty for miles. If you ever are, try to remember that water is closer than it might seem.
